Feeling of being observed..

I am so nervous, my friends. Tomorrow, I will be observed by my Boss. Getting the shit out of me right now. Butterflies fluttering so freely in my stomach. I wonder they are looking for the way out, and wait, you butterflies, i will flush you into the toilet bowl very soon...

Just can't used to the idea of observation and being observed. What a teacher I am! i have been dreading the observation for weeks and now, my turn has come. adoi...

last year, my boss did observe me, but he was not in the class technically, he was outside the class and gave glances and glimpses on what the hell I was doing with my Year One bambinoes! and at last, his comment was - "Kau tak rasa malu ka menyanyi dan menari dgn Tahun 1?" and i spontaneously said , "ndak, saya ndak malu. saya suka ajar dgn music dan pictures dan actions". He told me "Kau memang guru maktab. sekrang ni susah mau tgk cigu dekat sama dgn budak. kau buleh pergi jauh, bah, sir.." i was flattered that day but then today, i am nervous.

i just don't like to be observed, and i don't know why. do you guys love observations? i think some love it, but many don't. i feel like i am making a clown out of myself each time someone observes me.

To end this entry, i would love to share an experience during practicum when my lecturer Mr Teoh came to observe my teaching the very first time. I practically warned him not to look me right into my eyes when i was teaching and he was so obedient, he did not. hahahaha. so cute of him, he sat and faced to the left side of the class, looking at what the kids were doing and in the end he told me he had some difficulty turning in front and sideways because i made him stare at the kids work for one hour! hahahahahaha